The Limitless Run 2021, a virtual run event that was held by Limitless from 3-17 October saw 701 runners participating. Being part of the annual fundraiser, runners were empowered through a week of masterclasses whereby professionals such as counselors, social workers and psychologists share the knowledge and skills about mental health! Below are the top 10 questions that participants wanted to find out about mental health. 

Category: Mental Health

Question 1: I would like to know at which point does one see a therapist? 

Answer: Often people perceive the need to see a therapist when a person no longer feels strong enough. The first thing we must realise is that strength and seeking help are uncorrelated. We at Limitless constantly emphasise that you do not need to have any specific issue or mental health condition to go see a therapist. Therapy is something that can benefit anyone because it can help you get a different perspective and process your own thoughts. If you feel that you are having trouble coping or feel that you do not have a strong support system, you should see a therapist sooner rather than later. 

Question 2: What are some signs that we can look out for to tell that the therapist-client relationship is not working? 

Answer: From the client perspective, one very clear sign is if you do not feel validated at the end of the session. This involves the feeling of being told what you are supposed to do, as opposed to having control over your actions. Although, this has some caveats. The intervention/treatment plan devised by the therapist largely depends on the personality of the client. Some clients prefer to be given objective steps to measure their progress or strategies to deal with issues. Other clients prefer to have guidance from the therapist while retaining control over their actions. To have a successful relationship with your therapist, it is important to clearly communicate how you want to proceed right from the start. 

If you still do not feel validated or feel like you have not made any progress, you can change therapists. However, we advise you not to change therapist too fast or too often as those can also hamper your progress. Therapy takes time to work and show results. 

Question 3: What if I start getting too attached to my case manager/psychiatrist/therapist? 

Answer: It is normal to like your therapist in a non-romantic way and enjoy your sessions. It is simply a sign that you share a great working relationship. In fact, the opposite is also true – therapists also enjoy working with certain clients and look forward to their sessions.  

However, if you feel that this closeness is hampering your progress, we advise you to bring it up with your therapist as soon as possible. It might feel awkward to bring this up, but therapists do understand that a strong professional relationship is important to achieve progress for their client.  

Bringing this up early is important so that your therapist has ample time to adjust your treatment/intervention plan. Especially if you are planning to change your therapist/organisation, so that adequate closure can be provided to ensure a smooth transition.  

Category: Parenting 

Question 4: My daughter suffers from depression, recently she has been really stressed out about school (i.e. assignments and due dates) that she started to self-harm, I am wondering if it is a good idea to ask her to take a break from school and just let her recuperate. 

Answer: First and foremost, it is important to consult the child as this should be their decision. Some things to take note of which will help you decide whether a leave of absence is viable are:

• Whether your child’s condition is hampering their academic progress; 
• Whether you child’s behaviour is becoming intolerable;
• Whether the stress is not manageable to a point where it is disrupting the child’s focus; and
• If you have a gut-feeling as a parent that your child needs some time away from school.

You must consider all these points before having an open and honest conversation with your child. Ultimately, it should be the child’s decision. The parents must also decide beforehand with the child what he/she will do to keep himself/herself busy when they are away from school, as the child should not feel that time away is wasted time. 

Question 5: If my son has issues with anger management, how can I help him cope with it? He flares fast and have violent tendencies when being angry. 

Answer: It is important to understand that behaviour is a form of communication. If a child is so overwhelmed that he constantly feels the need to lash out, it means that he is distressed and does not have the skills to manage his feelings in a mature way.  

The parents’ reaction can go a long way in solving this problem. Parents must not see their behaviour as manipulative, rather, they should try to communicate better with the child. Perhaps they can try to remain calm even if it is hard, because shouting at them can escalate the situation even more. By remaining calm, you can become a model for your child on how to communicate better. Another tip is not to give in, because you do not want your child to adopt this behaviour as a mean to get what they want. On the contrary, it is also important to praise appropriate behaviour. This would affirm the child that there is a more mature way of communicating.

Other tips can be using time-out for violent behaviour for young children, getting children to practice problem solving, and practicing positive reinforcement to reward desirable behaviour. 

Category: Trauma 

Question 6: If I am suffering from what I think is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), should I see a therapist that specialises in Trauma (therapy), or can I see any kind of therapist like a psychologist? 

Answer: We would highly recommend you go to therapists that specialise in trauma treatment modalities. They have knowledge of specific techniques that can help you cope with your problem better, such as post-trauma CBT (PTCBT)to name one. Not all therapists have access to such tools and techniques, and that can make a huge difference in your progress.  

Question 7: What should one do if they want to talk about a traumatic experience but do not know how to bring it up? 

Answer: Trauma trained therapists deal with such experiences on a regular basis, and therefore it is perfectly normal for clients to break down in front of them while discussing a traumatic experience. If your therapist is qualified, they will try to identify your problems at the root cause and take small steps so that you do not get too overwhelmed. They will ensure that you are able to self-regulate and process what happened to you before they let you speak about your traumatic experience (known as the trauma narrative). 

Category: Crisis Management 

Question 8: How does someone open up to their therapist about suicidal thoughts? 

Answer: We understand that bringing up this topic with your therapist can be scary. However, all qualified therapists will attempt to hear you out and try to help you. At the end of the day, they too are human, and understand that people can go through low points in their lives. This not only includes suicidal thoughts, but also self-harm and/or running from home etc. They will try to understand the root cause of such thoughts and will provide you guidance without judgement. 

Category: Helping peers and friends 

Question 9: Recently a friend told me that someone told her that seeking help is a sign of weakness and that caused her to be unwilling to seek help. It is painful to watch her suffer, what can I do to encourage her to seek professional help? 

Answer: You must let the concerned person know that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of strength. If you are willing to seek help it means that you have recognised that you need assistance in dealing with your problems.

If someone is still hesitant to seek professional help, there are various avenues out there that you can direct them to such as getting professional peer support. e.g. Resilience Collective if seeking out peer support services, Safehouse – Limitless Discord Channel for community support services.

Question 10: How can/should someone convince their parents that he/she needs professional help? 

Answer: We understand that it can be difficult for some people to get the support of their parents with regards to seeking professional help. It is always a good idea to first get a sensing of how their reaction would be, before you bring up the topic. It might be a good idea to ‘test out the waters’ by bringing up your situation from the perspective of a friend who is need of help and judging their reaction to that story.  

If their reaction is positive, you can then go ahead and communicate your situation. In cases where parents are not so receptive, you would need to have an honest conversation with them about how you are feeling. You can attempt to make them understand that seeking professional help is normal, and that doing so will help you cope with your problems better. To convince them effectively, you might want to think about the points you want to bring up beforehand. 

To find out more about mental health programmes organised by Limitless, visit Limitless website.